FrightFest 2010 Monsters Movie Review

FrightFest 2010 Monsters Movie Review

“I feel like I could cry. But I don’t know if it would be a happy cry or a sad cry.”

That’s a line from the film Monsters which premiered at 9pm today on Saturday night on Day 3 at the FrightFest 2010.

It was pitched as an ‘emotional road movie’ and an ‘engaging romantic drama’ by the programme guide and was sold out according to the display boards at the Empire Cinema.

The screening of Monsters was even sponsored by Total Film and given a personal introduction by the magazine’s editor and the film’s writer-director.

The bar was set well and truly high. Despite being 9pm on Saturday night in the middle of London I was ready for something engaging and with a message.

Unfortunately, Monsters was not that film.

Imagine two posh students having just finished their A-Levels and taking a gap year in Mexico and then those same students returning from their gap year  with a 97 minute slideshow, holding you the viewer as prisoner, as you’re forced to relate to their nauseating musings on life and relationships.

I repeat the line:

“I feel like I could cry. But I don’t know if it would be a happy cry or a sad cry.”

If anyone said anything as wet as that to you in real life, you’d slowly walk away and not make eye contact, but in Monsters it’s underwritten by deeply meaningful looks from the two leads who are fully paid-up members of the Keanu Reeves school of acting.

The problem with Monsters is that it’s the relationship between the two leads who are journeying across Mexico to America that should have held you in place. But there is little chemistry between the two. Indeed, sparks cannot fly between mutual pieces of wood.

Still doubt me? Here’s another excerpt:

Man: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Woman: I dunno.
(A pause as they both look deeply felt and meaningful each other)
Woman: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Man: I dunno.

A thrilling exchange!  Like it? Here’s another:

The couple are walking through a town where buildings have been destroyed:

Woman: What do you think happened here?
Man: I dunno.
Man: If you ask me it looks like an air-strike.

Great. Thanks for clarifying that. Would have kept me up all night that.

As a concept, ‘War of The Worlds’ meets ‘The Sure Thing’ sounds like a good time and a really good time at that. Unfortunately, Monsters spends much of its time navel gazing. Do yourself a favour and reach out for Zombie Land instead.

posted by admin at 12:30 am  

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