Human Centipede 2 Full Sequence Movie Review — UK Premiere

Human Centipede 2 Full Sequence Movie Review — UK Premiere

Just got back from the UK première of Tom’s Six’s Human Centipede 2 including details on Part 3.

The first Human Centipede film can be summarised as follows: a nifty idea executed and explored to its own nasty conclusions but which would have worked better as a short to maximise impact.

The Human Centipede is a monster flick, but in both the first and the second parts you have to wait until you’re 3/4 through the movie to see the damn monster. Imagine if Jaws had worked like that: a film where Brody spends the first 3/4 looking for a shark and then have the shark surface on screen but only in the last 1/4.

We’re guided on the construction of the centipede through the eyes of Martin, a guy who makes Norman Bates’ relationship with his mother look normal. After developing an obsession with the first film (the first film is a film within this story’s universe), he sets about constructing his own Centipede.

What follows is 90 minutes of torture and suffering for the sake of shock value. Everything about the Centipede’s construction is magnified to provoke maximum on-screen disgust and little more. Scenes where Martin injects the centipede with a laxative so as to deliver an extended pooing sequence s clearly aimed at the lowest common denominator who enjoyed the first flick.

Judging by the cheapness of locations used (a car park, a small flat and a warehouse), the use of black and white and not having a headline lead star (what star would want to be attached to this project), I’d say Six had one eye clearly aimed on making a huge profit, helped in no part by the BBFC’s orginial banning of the film (it just spurs interest).

The film is stylishly shot and the superb lead performance of Laurence R. Harvey as the demented Martin (who never speaks during the film) delivers a villain who is as memorable as Dr. Heiter from the first film. .

Six played down rumours that the third film might feature himself as part of the storyline.

Given the meta nature of the sequel, there’s a strong case for the Human Centipede 3 revolving around Tom’s making of the third film.

Maybe the pressures of success in Hollywood forces Tom to construct a more convincing human centipede under the guise of a casting call? Six said the third film would tie together answers to questions raised in the first and second film.

Given that one’s considered a work of fiction in the sequel’s world, the third film could be where reality and fantasy meet. Let’s hope it has something worthwhile to say.

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posted by JP at 10:09 am  

A True Horror Story — Flash Fiction

A True Horror Story — Flash Fiction

I was sitting on the top deck of a bus going over Kingston Bridge today when I saw a group of marathon runners.

They were dressed in lycra and sportswear and made a wall of moving colour as they ran in the grey October morning.

It was cold, but their faces were red and determined, with each runner keeping step to the beat of their i-Pod, ignoring the homeless women that had collapsed face down in the street in front of them.

The bus rolled forward.

I saw more runners approach the bridge, their numbers stretching back into the distance.

They looked determined.

© John-Paul Kamath October 2011

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posted by JP at 10:14 pm  

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Movie Review

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Movie Review

As with sitting down with a large stack of Sunday papers, I was in the mood for something long and slow-burning like Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

The film is a seven-man acting contest, featuring British heavyweights Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, The ‘Batch, John Hurt and Toby Jones, among others. So, even if the cast spent the entire run time reading the ingredients on a can of beans, you’d be in for a good time.

The film remake is a lot like an English counterpoint to Michael Mann’s Heat; it’s macho, understated, slow and deliberate, but there’s something distinctly British about the way its characters keep things bottled up beneath their v-neck jumpers and raincoats.

The decision not to update the plot to a modern setting means this isn’t a spy film where car chases and frequent shoot-outs are the norm. Rather, tension is drawn out from the decisions those in “the circus” have to make to achieve their ends and the consequences they’re prepared to live with.

The film paints a picture of what seemingly ordinary and mundane people are prepared to do to achieve the end result, which is altogether a more frightening experience than watching suave gangsters face-off against their mirror counterparts working on the police force.

Kudos has to go to the production design team: this is one of the most convincing representations of England in the 1970s. The only slight distractions were the hairpieces the actors were forced to wear—yes, it was the seventies and people did have hairstyles like that, but for some scenes the hairstyles were just too beautiful not to look at.

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posted by JP at 8:25 pm  

Raindance 2011- The première

Raindance 2011- The première

Me and a bunch of friends were out at the Raindance film festival to show our support for the première of our friend’s film Mesocafe.

The film was self-financed on a micro budget and produced over the last three years while writer/director/producer Ja’far ‘Abd al-Hamid held down a day job.

What had started off as a conversation over the office water cooler six years ago was now playing out in front of our eyes in a West-End cinema in London. People talk about the magic of cinema, but it’s only because of the magic of human persistence that we have great films.

After the film concluded and the cast, crew and supporters retired to the nearest pub. What became apparent was how happy everyone was for his success and how in awe of him everyone was for having been so disciplined over an extended period of time to make this film happen.

It was also rewarding to see Ja’far being rewarded with the smiling faces of all those around him who’d been part of his journey.

In short, a guy set himself a target that meant something and yet despite the overwhelming odds against him, he triumphed.

And if he can do it, you can too.

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posted by JP at 10:44 pm  

The Long Term View

The Long Term View

“As I was walking to the night bus from Mouthanna’s home, I felt as if I was as intoxicated and floating in air as some of the inebriated young men and women pouring out of night clubs on to the local high street.”

The above quote is from my friend and director, Ja’far ‘Abd al-Hamid, who has just finished work on his first feature film, Mesocafe.

It’s taken him over three years to produce, from pre-production to premièring it at this week at London’s Raindance film festival.

It’s an independent film; financed and brought to life by his persistence and passion for film. Every week for a year he has been updating his blog on the production process so that you can see the weeks ticking by.

I used to work with Ja’far on a nightshift job. The money wasn’t great, but it did allow us the time off to pursue our own projects. At the time, both his film and my comic book were very much pipe dreams, but something we were resolved to do.

Flash-forward six years and his film and my comic are realities only because of persistence.

See, it’s easy to look at a finished product and assume it just arrived somehow.

But six years ago me and Ja’far were in the same position as most people who hadn’t made a film or comic book. What’s made the difference has been a willingness to make things happen and being committed to our goals in the long run.

In these days of instant communication, status updates and 24 hour news, we’re being trained to expect an almost instant response from the world as a result of our actions (“It’s been three minutes. Why haven’t you responded to my text?).

Any action-response that falls below the bar of within the hour leads to frustration, or at the very least, the suspicion that your broadband has gone down again.

If you’re a creative starting out then take the long term view.

Know that you’re dedicating yourself to something true and good and that every day where you learn a bit more and make progress to your goal is time well spent.

Have a goal in mind and let it guide your conscious and sub-concious actions. Enjoy the process of creating, learning and reaching your goal.

Enjoy the process of getting better.

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posted by JP at 7:29 am